Husbands, Wives and Dogs

The other day I received a call at my Joshua Creek Ranch office from the wife of a wingshooting client. She asked if I remembered a newsletter we’d sent out several years ago that had a piece in it comparing the benefits of men having dogs rather than wives. She was in hopes of getting a copy of it to share with friends. I did vaguely remember it, but to tell the truth, searching for that particular newsletter rated about minus two on my scale of things I needed to do at this particularly busy time of the hunting season. 

 However, we do have a policy of being promptly responsive to client inquiries, so the next day I made it a priority to find that newsletter. Well, in the process, I not only found that one, but I found another subsequent newsletter with a rebuttal “Why women have dogs instead of husbands.”
Reading them gave me a great laugh, even though I’d read them before. I sent them both to the client’s wife, and then decided that you’d enjoy them, too, even though you may have seen them before. Dogs are such wonderful creatures, aren’t they? Gotta love `em. 

Reprinted from Bird Dog and Retriever News, June/July 2006

  1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.
  2. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
  3. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs won’t hate it.
  4. Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name.
  5. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
  6. A dog’s parents never visit.
  7. Dogs do not hate their bodies.
  8. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
  9. Dogs like to do their snooping outside rather than in your wallet or desk.
  10. Dogs seldom outlive you.
  11. Dogs can’t talk.
  12. You never have to wait for a dog, it’s ready to go 24 hours a day.
  13. Dogs find you amusing when you’re drunk.
  14. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.
  15. Another man will seldom steal your dog.
  16. A dog will not wake you up in the middle of the night to ask, “If I died, would you get another dog?”
  17. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and find homes for them.
  18. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.
  19. A dog won’t hold out on you to get a new car.
  20. If your dog smells another dog on you, it doesn’t get mad. It just thinks it’s interesting.
  21. On a car trip, your dog never insists on running the heater.
  22. Dogs don’t let magazine articles guide their lives.
  23. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pick-up truck.
  24. Dogs are not allowed in Bloomingdale’s or Neiman-Marcus.


  1. If a dog leaves you, it won’t take half your stuff.

Anonymous rebuttal from one of our readers to the article above

  1. Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.
  2. Dogs miss you when you’re gone.
  3. Dogs feel guilty when they’ve done something wrong.
  4. Dogs don’t criticize your friends.
  5. Dogs let you know when they’re jealous.
  6. Dogs don’t feel threatened by your intelligence.
  7. Dogs can’t feel threatened if you earn more than they do.
  8. Dogs never complain about dinner.
  9. Dogs understand what “no” and what “get down” mean.
  10. Dogs don’t worry about losing their hair.
  11. You can house train a dog.
  12. Middle-aged dogs don’t feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner.
  13. Dogs don’t mind if you do all the driving.
  14. Dogs don’t step on the imaginary brake.
  15. Dogs admit it when they’re lost: they will search for someone who will help them find their way.
  16. Another woman will seldom steal your dog.
  17. Dogs don’t use the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue to make you feel unattractive.
  18. Dogs like to go shopping with you; in fact, dogs like to go just about everywhere with you!
  19. Dogs don’t mind meeting your mother.


  1. Dogs mean it when they kiss you.

Ann Kercheville is President of Joshua Creek Ranch. Located in the renowned Texas Hill Country just 45 minutes northwest of San Antonio and 90 minutes southwest of Austin, Joshua Creek Ranch occupies a uniquely diverse terrain including miles of Joshua Creek and Guadalupe River bottomland planted in fields of grain crops for prime upland and deer hunting habitats. You can visit their web site at


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